But then I got high
by Jack Hawthorne
Summary: A series of oneshots featuring the Avatar cast in peculiar situations, including psychoactive mushrooms, lotsa beer, and "That's what she said" jokes. Chapter 3 is up!
1. The mushroom

Wellwell, here is my first Avatar-fanfic. This sillyness was inspired by a convo I had with two friends of mine while we watched the Avatar movie again. I seriously need to invite those guys over more often, they are a great source of inspiration xD

Anyways, enjoy. ^^

DISCLAIMER: No, I don`t own anything of this. Now, shoo, get of my back pesky lawyers.

A/N 1: I have decided that these ficlets will count as canon in my OC story (which is in progress.) Therefore, Jake is not Olo'eyktan, despite his Turko Makto-ness.

A/N 2: The second chapter is up. If you want any more, just PM me with a plot^^ I have a few myself, but mostly incomplete ones.

A/N 3: The rewritten lyrics to the song further down uses this melody; www .youtube. com/watch?v=Xxz2m7BFBrU (same melody as the original)

* * *

They were running like the wind through the forest. Jake and Neytiri were out on the hunt, trying to get a fresh kill for dinner tonight. Salted, dried and smoked meat was good, but freshly cooked from a fresh kill was indisputably the best. They hadn`t managed to find a herd of yeriks yet, but it would only be a matter of time. Both Jake and Neytiri were excellent trackers. Neytiri was much better than Jake, but that was to be expected. He had only had a few years to train, after all. Suddenly, Neytiri started to slow down a bit. Jake noticed, and slowed down too, until they were both standing underneath a huge fern-like plant, panting slightly.

"Why did we stop?" Jake wondered. He hadn`t spotted any signs of a yerik herd nearby, so there was no reason to stop.

"Uhm… I gotta…" Neytiri mumbled, pointing towards a bush. Jake got the point immediately, and nodded.

"I'll just wait here then," he said. Neytiri gave him a quick smile before walking off into the underbrush, as silent as ever. Having nothing better to do, Jake started exploring nearby. He wasn't as well-versed in this particular area, so it would help his knowledge of the land, too. After a minute or two, he suddenly spotted something peculiar. A loosed queue! It was hanging beside a large tree-like mushroom, dangling just above the ground. Jake walked over, smelling the air for any signs of hostilities. He didn't pick up anything but the faint scent of Neytiri a few hundred feet behind him, so he picked up the queue, examining it. He discovered that it was connected to the mushroom-tree, and this made him curious. What would a mushroom need a queue for? He hadn't heard of any plant or animal like this from either the Na'vi or the remaining scientists on the planet. Nowadays, they were just called Avatars or Dreamwalkers, even if they didn't have an Avatar themselves.  
"Hmm…. It can`t possibly hurt to try, could it?" Jake mumbled to himself, picking up his own queue. With some hesitation, he brought the two queues together, waiting for the neural bond to activate, which would let him know what the plant was.

Neytiri walked back rather slowly, enjoying the sights of the forest. It had begun to darken slightly, and some of the plants' lights, biolumiscence as the Dreamwalkers said, had started. She giggled a bit as she set off a fan lizard and watched it spin to safety in a tree. Those little creatures were still funny to watch. Soon, she was back underneath the large fern where she had left Jake. Neytiri looked around, trying to spot him. No Jake. She could, however, smell him. She frowned a bit. Jake smelled differently than normal. She quickly followed Jake's scent behind the large fern and saw him slumping against a large mushroom-like tree. She gasped as she spotted the connected queues.

"Oh no..." she whispered to herself, rapidly jumping to Jake and disconnecting him from the plant. He was slumped on the ground, his head lolling weirdly to one side.

"Geeehhhhllrrghh…" Jake uttered a weird sound, and a drop of drool escaped the corner of his mouth. Neytiri glared at the mushroom-thing and swore to herself in Na'vi. She wiped away the drool with a dead leaf and hoisted Jake up and into a fireman's-grip and started on the long way home to the Hometree. She knew the effects of the shroom. This was going to be a long evening.

***

"I'm blue da bo dee ba do dei!" Jake shouted in a slurred voice, half singing, as Neytiri blushingly carried him up the long spiral in the Hometree. Most of the clan stared at them, and she tried to shrug it off. Of course, that was easier said than done with Jake still on her right shoulder, singing wildly. And even though she had never heard the song before, she knew was off-key. She ended up glaring at the observers to get away instead, blushing a deep blue shade in the process.

"Uhm… What's wrong with Jake?" a voice above her asked. It was Norm, one of the most accepted Dreamwalkers. He was part of both the Omaticaya clan and the science team that had chosen to stay on Pandora after the war with the humans three years ago. Right now, he was leaning out of Jake and Neytiri's room, apparently having been waiting there for them to return from the hunt.

"He connected to a Uniltxum," Neytiri simply answered as she entered the large cave-like space inside the Hometree's trunk. There were hundreds of similar alcoves all over the trunk, and Jake and Neytiri had, as a mated pair, been allowed to choose one for themselves. Their alcove was situated roughly halfway up the trunk.

"Dream-poison?" Norm translated, wondering what that was. He hadn't read about anything named Uniltxum in any of the books he'd read, nor heard about it from any of the Na'vi. By now, Jake had stopped singing "I'm blue" and instead was staring at his own hand as if it had fifteen fingers and a hoof or something. Neytiri had dropped him, rather unceremoniously, on the floor moments before.

"HEY! Guys!" he suddenly yelled, annoyingly loud and shrill. "My hand's freakin' BLUE duuuudeeee!" He resumed staring at his own hand, drooling slightly again. Neytiri sighed and massaged the bridge of her nose as she wiped of the drool with a dead leaf again.

"Uhhh…. Okay?" Norm said, completely bewildered by Jake's weird behavior. At that moment, Jake decided to start singing "I'm blue" again, roaring loudly every time he said the word "blue."

"He connected his queue to an Uniltxum mushroom," Neytiri started to explain, apparently still wondering how the hell Jake would be so stupid as to do that. "Which affects our brain… With this result," She said, pointing at the wreck called Jake on the floor. He was currently in the process of counting his toes by using his nose to touch them. He never got past three though, before he had to start again, due to him forgetting what number he was on.

"Did he know about that effect?" Norm asked while staring at Jake, trying not laugh.

"Eh… No." Neytiri admitted. "We don't tell our children about the mushroom. Usually, they will do exactly as Jake, bonding with the mushroom. Usually after this, they never do it again."

"Ah. Burnt child dreads fire, right?" Norm replied, recognizing the parallel to the human expression.

"Yes, something like that," Neytiri answered, having heard the expression from Jake a year ago or something.

"You see, the ones affected by the mushroom are still there. They are sort of trapped inside their own head. They can see everything their body does, but are not able to stop it," Neytiri continued to explain. As she did so, Norm doubled over in laughter.

"You mean Jake can see all of this?!" He asked between bouts of laughter.

"Yes…" Neytiri sighed.

"HE-HEY!" Jake suddenly said, jumping to his feet. "DOES THAT MEAN I'M HIGH?!" he yelled with his eyes crossed, making Norm laugh even more. Taking this as a yes, Jake suddenly spun unsteadily around himself two or three times, before starting to…sing. Loudly. And surprisingly not off-key either. He was, however, swaying slightly, like a tree in a mild breeze.

I never planned to leave Earth, but then I got high  
I was gonna lead a quiet life, but then I got high  
Now I'm livin' here, and I know why  
- cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high

I wasn't gonna get an Avatar, but then I got high  
I was gonna do as ordered, but then I got high  
Then I ran off into the woods, and I know why  
- cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high

I found a Thanator, but then I got high  
I was gonna run from the freakin' thing but I got high  
It nearly ate me and I know why  
- cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high

In the woods I found Neytiri, but then I got high  
She was gonna train me all day long, but then I got high  
She nearly killed me dead, and I know why  
- cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high

I wasn't gonna fight, but then I got high  
I nearly got myself killed, because I was high  
But then I downed a ship and I know why  
- cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high

I was gonna stay in human form until I got high  
I was gonna leave right back for Earth, but then I got high  
Now I'm tall and blue, and I know why  
- cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high

I was gonna make love to you, but then I got high  
I was gonna eat your pussy too but then I got high  
now I'm jacking off and I know why  
- cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high

I messed up my entire life because I got high  
I betrayed my entire race, because I got high  
now I'm sleeping in a tree, and I know why  
- cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high

I'm gonna stop singing this song because I'm high  
I'm singing this whole thing wrong because I'm high  
And I'm gonna hate myself tomorrow, and I know why  
- cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high

Norm was crying with laughter. He was literarily lying on the floor, rolling around with tears in his eyes. He could barely breathe. Jake, on the other hand, stared blankly in front of himself for a little while, before uttering something incomprehensible and collapsing on the floor.

Neytiri sighed. Finally, the effect began to wear off. He'd been snoring like a yerik's mating call for 12 hours straight, but at least he had stopped singing. Neytiri picked him up from the floor and tucked him into the bed before sitting down on a large, flat rock that functioned as a combined chair/table to wait for Norm to finish laughing. When he finally managed to get to his feet, still gasping for breath, Neytiri's tail was swishing irritably from side to side. She had absolutely not expected that Jake hadn't ever bonded with a shroom before, but now that she thought back on it, he couldn't have. He had only been here for roughly three years, after all. Still, it did not diminish the burning embarrassment of having to literally carry a stoned Turok Makto up the Hometree while the entire clan watched. Tomorrow's breakfast with the clan would be so incredibly embarrassing.

"So, what was it you came here for?" Neytiri asked a still gasping Norm with a slightly annoyed voice. He really wasn`t making anything better.

"I was going to ask you to help me with some stuff, but since Jake's…out of order," he chuckled a bit at that, "it can wait."

Neytiri sighed again before shooing him out. She lay down on her and Jake's hammock, absentmindedly fiddling with a strand of Jake's hair, wondering how to best wriggle out of this situation tomorrow. Eventually, as she started to drift off to sleep; she figured it'd be best if she just told the truth, however embarrassing.

***

Jake gradually woke up, opening his eyes slowly before immediately shutting them against the bright light and groaning. His head felt like a herd of angtsìk were stampeding through it. Seriously, this had to be the worst hangover he had ever had. What had he done last night? Then, suddenly, everything flooded back into his head. The hunting trip, the mushroom, the trip home, the pretty colours and shapes, and the singing. The horrible singing. Jake groaned loudly again. At the sound of his embarrassed groan, Neytiri stirred before mumbling something.

"You awake?"

"Yes…but I wish I weren't…"

"You remember last night?"

"Unfortunately, yeah…"

Neytiri giggled. Okay, it was embarrassing for both of them, but when she thought back on it, it was actually kind of funny.

"Oh, come on! Don`t laugh, please. It's bad enough already… Why didn't you warn me about that shroom earlier?"

"Because we don't tell our children about the shroom. You heard why last night; don't pretend to not remember it." Jake just groaned again at this. He dearly wished he didn't remember.

"Neytiri?"

"Hm?"

"Can we please skip breakfast with the clan today? Please?" Jake begged. The last thing he wanted now was to go down and eat together with the rest of the clan, most of whom had both seen and heard him last night. He'd never hear the end of it.

"You must. You are Turok Makto, after all. And I have to go too, and it will be just as embarrassing for me."

Jake groaned again. Then, suddenly, he heard a familiar voice chuckle from the doorway. Jake groaned louder.

"Morning Jake! Feeling any better today?" Norm asked, purposely making his voice just loud enough to cause discomfort. Jake groaned louder before deciding to get up from the hammock. He had to anyway, and he figured that it would be easier to punch Norm while standing up if he starting ridiculing him.

"So, if I understood this correctly, you remember every single thing about yesterday?" Norm asked, smirking. Was it just Jake's imagination, or was that smirk sinister?

"Yeah…unfortunately…."

"So, you remember singing "I`m blue" back there too?" Norm continued to ask. Norm's avatar's tail was swishing from side to side, occasionally curling around his leg for a moment before continuing to swish, revealing that Norm was just a hairsbreadth away from bursting out laughing again.

"Ugh… Yeah… And I swore I'd never sing that song ever again after getting this body…" Jake said, remembering the promise to himself he had made a week or so after getting permanently transferred into his current body. He had done that because Norm had been singing it constantly after getting his avatar-body healed. Apparently, he had found the old song in one of the computers back at Hell's Gate, leftovers from someone who had gone home to Earth.

That was the drop that made Norm's cup overflow. He burst out laughing again, which only made Jake groan yet again before sitting down on the stone. He seriously needed a painkiller or five.  
Without warning, Norm suddenly stopped laughing. Then he began humming a melody to himself, a melody that was all too familiar to Jake. It was the OTHER song he had sung that night. Apparently having finished remembering the melody, Norm started singing, nearly stumbling over words as he struggled to stop laughing.

You swore you'd never sing it, but then you got high  
You sang it awfully, because you were high.  
And now you're embarrassed, and I know why!  
Cause you were high, cause you were high, cause you were high!

The moment he finished, Norm burst out laughing again before nimbly jumping out of the doorway and onto a branch below, running away from Jake, who had gotten up to punch him. Jake could've caught up with him, but his head was hurting again, and he didn't really feel like ruining his friends good mood. Even though the good mood was caused by mocking at his expense. When he turned back in to the alcove, he saw Neytiri on the hammock, struggling not to giggle. Jake groaned again when she finally gave up.

This was going to be a long day.


	2. The beer

Oh well. I can't believe I'm actually doing this, but after the rather massive responce (compared to my other stories) of number one, I decided that this...thing...needed a second chapter. Well helped by Fufuluffs idea, I made this. Hope ya like it^^

DISCLAIMER: Just playing in somebody elses sandbox here. Don't sue me please. You wouldn't get anything anyway.

A/N: The "Turok makto makto" line belongs to Blue Hunny, who was nice enough to let me borrow it^^

A/N 2: As I edited in the previous chapter, I have decided that this will count as canon in my OC story. Therefore, Jake is not Olo'eyktan. Instead, Huhwe is.

Oh and by the way, if anyone has any good plotlines they want me to write for this ficlet collection, just give me a wink and I'll see what I can do^^

* * *

It had been a month since Jake's "incident" with the shroom. He had kept a healthy distance from everything even remotely shroomish since then. Luckily for him, the Omaticaya clan didn't lose their respect for him because of that. Not after he had explained why he did it, anyway. He had been more or less permanently blushing for a week, but after that, everything had calmed down. Until he took a trip to Hell's Gate, that is. For, of course, Norm had told everyone about it. After yet another embarrassing explanation, and an oath to pay Norm back later, it had calmed down there, too.

And, now there were even less people thinking about the "incident," because the Na'vi hunters had just cornered and downed an absolutely massive angtsìk bull. The clan would easily have meat enough for two months if you counted the stored meat they already had. And of course, this called for a party, and since there had been humans present in the hunt, in the form of Avatars, the new clanleader, Huhwe, had decided that they would hold the party in one of the giant repair-halls for Valkyrie shuttles in Hell's Gate. Jake had partly influenced him there, saying that the Na'vi and the humans needed to bond a bit more if they were to share the planet. This made perfect sense to the olo'eyctan, and the rest of the clan was convinced rather easily too.

Many Na'vi had made friends within the scientists ranks, and almost none viewed them with hatred anymore. Not the Dreamwalkers at least. Then there was the matter of getting everything ready. The repair hall had to be re-pressurized and filled with a terran air mixture to let both humans and Na'vi stay in the same room without masks. The meat had to be prepared, drinks had to be brewed and so on.

"Jake? What the hell is this?" Norm asked as he rolled a massive barrel through the doors into the hangar.

"That? I think it's a type of Na'vi beer. Good stuff, tastes weird, but still good. Not that strong though, so you gotta drink a lot to get drunk, especially Na'vi, who have larger bodies." Jake grinned like an idiot on the inside. This was perfect. In reality, the stuff could practically get an angtsìk dead drunk, and now Norm would drink it like water, especially since he was attending in his Avatar body. This, however, was just a part of Jakes plan to get his payback. The plan went something like this:

Step one: Get Norm drunk.

Step two: ???

Step three: Laugh.

Jake was painfully aware that there was a piece missing in his plan, but he figured that everybody would do stupid things when drunk, right? He chuckled to himself as he thought about it.

"Jake, what are you chuckling at?"

"Nothing, nothing at all…"

*******

"This party is LAME!" Norm mumbled to himself. Okay, it was lively enough for a feast, but he wanted to PARTY! Especially since he was drunk beyond all inhibitions. By now, everyone had got quite a lot to drink, but this place was pretty much devoid of action. He suspected there was more to this "beer" than what Jake had said. In one end of the hall, on a raised platform, a troupe of Na'vi musicians had found some like-minded humans and were now cranking out pretty OK music, even though it was a weird combination of Na'vi and human instruments. On the other end of the hall, there was a large table designated for food and drinks, and most were sitting or standing around it, talking. In the middle, there was a large floor that had been converted into a dance floor. There was a quite a few out there, but not nearly enough. Suddenly, Norm got a brilliant idea. At least it was brilliant to his drunk mind, but the small part of his mind that was still operational doubted he would like this idea in the morning. Without a pause, he disappeared out a door towards the main building. From the table, Jake was grinning, knowing that his plan was coming into fruition.

When Norm came back, he was lugging a large table-like thing full of buttons and switches and stuff, and a large wad of cables. He quickly scurried over to the musicians and shared his plan with them. Shrugging, they left their spot on the platform. They weren't going to complain if some drunk nuthead wanted to take over the music single-handedly. Besides, they all wanted a taste of that delicious-smelling angtsìk on the feast-table.

Within moments, Norm had hooked up the table thing, which was a mixing board, to the speaker-system in Hell's Gate. Grinning like a maniac, he grabbed the mic connected to the board and called out to the hall.

"Hey everybody! This party's LAME! I'm gonna SPUNK it up! Now, lezz get this partey shtartin'!" Norm yelled before hitting "play" on the board. A loud rhythmical clapping suddenly erupted from the speakers, signaling the start of the song. Within moments all attention was focused toward the man on the stage, who was dancing to the tune.

"Com' on everybody! Dance with me 'ere!" Norm shouted before starting to sing together with the first chorus.

Rock this party  
Dance everybody  
Make it hot in this party  
Don't shtop, move your body  
Rock this party  
Dance everybody  
Make it hot in this party  
Everybody dance now

"Com' on now! Get dancin'!" Norm yelled. Most of the humans looked at each other before doing exactly that. Why not? They though, clearly influenced by the "beer." The Na'vi however, weren't really sure what to do, since dance usually was a ritualistic thing to them. However, they soon followed the lead of the roughly 15 avatar-drivers there, and soon the hall was MUCH spunkier than a moment ago. The rational part of Norm's brain noted with surprise that this insane idea had actually worked, and the drunk part just roared a hearty "YEAH!" before continuing to dance.

As the next song started to boom over the speakers, Norm jumped down into the crowd to join in the dancing and to get some more "beer."

"Hey, Norm, where the hell did you find a mixing board??" a voice suddenly asked. A quick and rather wingly turn later, Norm identified the speaker as Max.

"Well, I shcatched it from a dude's room. I think he went back t'earth, so he won't mind." Norm answered, grinning sheepishly. But before Jake could continue the conversation, Norm turned around and walked straight up to a female Avatar-driver that was hanging out by the table.

"Hey hot-shtuff. Y'know, you make my shoftware turn into hardware." Norm said in what he thought was a smooth voice. The female Avatar, named Christine, promptly slapped him and left for the other side of the room. And a few meters behind Norm, Jake was doubled over in laughter.

"I know she wants me. She just don't realishe it yet." Norm mumbled to himself. He grabbed another bowl of that "beer" to fix his wounded pride before going out on the prowl again.

Apparantly, Christine had spread the rumour about Norm fairly efficiently, because all the female Avatars disappeared the moment he came into view, which made his hunt fairly fruitless. This prompted him to drink even more "beer," and soon he couldn't even count his own fingers, let alone everyone else's. However, this did not deter him in the least. If anything, it only increased his target range, and he soon approached a good looking Na'vi woman on the dance floor.

"Hey baby, check out my shcars!" Norm exclaimed before ripping off his shirt and showing off the scars he had gotten when his Avatar got shot in the war. The woman, named Le'sha, just blinked a few times before she asked over the boom from the speakers.

"Why do you show me scars?" She had a certain suspicion she knew what he wanted, based on what she had heard the female Dreamwalkers talk about. And, her suspicions proved correct when Norm pointed at his crotch and made some thrusting motions. Le'sha shouted something quick in Na'vi, and within moments her mate appeared behind her.

"What did you say, dear?" he asked in Na'vi, noticing that her tail twitched irritably. What followed was a quick stream of Na'vi that Norm didn't quite get, other than a few words like "drunk" "sex" "beat him" and something. He didn't care, and was hoping she was telling the rather muscular looking Na'vi to leave them alone for a while. Of course, that didn't happen, and Norm ended up stuffed inside a large mushy plant outside the compound with more than a few bruises.

After a rather sticky extraction from said plant, and a quick bath in the river, Norm went back on the prowl, well helped by even more drinks. He started to wonder where the hell everything came from, and if those barrels ever ran dry.

"Hey Norm! I saw you got stuffed inside that plant outside, so how are you doing?" Jake's voice sounded from behind.

"Ah, yesh. But it'sh fiiine now. This beer'sh aweshome. What'sh innit?" Norm asked. His ears had begun to twitch erratically due to the alcohol, and Norm was trying to hold them still with his fingers. This, of course, just made him look silly. And made his tail twitch, too, and when he tried to keep that still with his legs, things looked even more silly. So silly in fact, that Neytiri doubled over in laughter when she spotted him.

"Hey! What'sh sho funneh?!" Norm asked irritably, still trying in vain to keep his twitching body parts still. By now, Jake was laughing too, and they were leaning on each other for support. The fact that Norm tried to jump towards them with his tail still wedged between his legs, falling splat on his face in the process, didn't help at all.

"Oh, shut up you thereh!" Norm said while getting to his feet again. He barely managed to stay stable, but he managed it. But then, a "brilliant" idea crossed his mind.

"Turok Makto Makto!" he said in Neytiri's face, before turning to walk away, thinking he had gotten some good payback for that laughing. The problem was, he had gotten a way too good payback. It took a moment for Neytiri to process the unfamiliar phrase, before she erupted in an epic blush that turned her entire face and parts of her upper body purple. What followed was a brief struggle before Norm ended up in a plant again. This time, he didn't even bother washing off before he returned. He needed some more beer to fix THAT blow to his ego. And while the sober part of his mind, though very very reduced, knew why she had done that, his drunk part did not. However, basic survival instincts kicked in, and he didn't come close to Neytiri the rest of the evening.

After a quick tour up to the mixing table to reset the playlist, which had finished itself, Norm closed in on some more "prey." This time, it was a young Avatar-driver, a biochemist if Norm remembered correctly, who was dancing on the floor, utilizing some rather revealing moves. With a surprisingly smooth dance move, Norm closed in behind her and whispered in her ear.

"Hey hot-schtuff. If I were an enzyme, I'd be a DNA helicashe, so I could unzip yer genes." The girl, named Natalie, turned around and did NOT promptly slap him. Which surprised Norm, but he tried to keep his head cool and not go celebrating yet.

"That was incredibly cheesy." Natalie simply said, while continuing to dance.

"True dat. But, did it work?" Norm replied while his tail had started to twitch excitedly. Maybe he had something here?

"Oh yeah, it did. You had me at "enzyme"," Natalie said, her somewhat distant eyes revealing that she was just as drunk as Norm was. As they continued to dance, albeit somewhat unsteadily and with frequent drinking breaks, they kept close, tails entwined and whispering stuff in each others' ears that neither of them would even think of if they were sober. Stuff that was both very very dirty, and very very geeky. At long last, they snuck away from the floor and walked outside. Within moments, they had found a suitably empty storehouse, and things got very very squeaky, very very quickly.

***

"Link-chambers one and two, Norm and Natalie coming out!" a lab technician shouted as the two chambers came out.

"Oh my god… My head feels like shit…" Norm groaned as he slowly exited the link-chamber. "I didn't know the hangover transferred over the link…"

"My head feels like a titanothere's stomping ground…" a female voice groaned from the chamber beside his own. He recognized it as Natalies voice. Then, everything that had happened that night hit the two scientists like a cannonball.

"Oh shit," both uttered at the same time, and looked at each other, blushing like mad, before hurrying off in different directions. This mess was going to take a LONG time to clean up.

* * *

A/N: There is a lot of people who wondered what that "Turok Makto Makto" line means, so I'll include an explenation. And yes, I do know that if you have to explain a joke, it ain't funny.

"Makto" means "Rider (of)". Like, ikran makto would mean "Rider of banshee" in english. Turok Makto is Jake's title, and means "Rider of Turok". Turok is the na'vi name for the Great Leonopteryx, the big bad orange flying lizard thingy. I bet everyone knows that already, but still. Anyway, "Turok Makto Makto" would then mean "Rider of Jake", which implies that Neytiri rides Jake. Which probably is true, it's just embarrasing to have it spelled out like that.  
I hope I didn't ruin the joke by doing this...


	3. That's what she said!

Mornin' folks. This other day, I suddenly got in the mood for writing something, so I dug up some old plot-ideas, and this is the result. It's much shorter than the two previous ones, and not intended to be that funny, but I just had to write something. Hope you like it^^

A/N: This chapter was originally intended to be featured in the Knock on Wood series, but I decided to publish it here instead. If you haven't read Knock on Wood yet, do so. It's awesome. ^^

* * *

Norm was dead tired. Almost to the point of breaking. But finally it was over. He had been out training with Jake today, and as usual, he was barely coherent due to fatigue when he returned in the evening. He frequently wondered how the hell Jake had managed all this stuff in three months, even without the basic training that Norm had. Apparantly, Norm decided, jarheads are way better than geeks at surviving in the jungle. However, there was a bright side to it, too. Whenever they got home to the kelutral, Neytiri usually had whipped up some of her delicious stew. Which was another mystery in Norm's eyes. How had she learned to both be such a fearsome warrior and hunter _and_ learned to cook? Oh well. He didn't care too much right after these bouts of training.

As they climbed up the double helix formed by the central columns, the wonderful scent of Neytiri's stew slammed into Norm's sensitive Avatar nostrils, and his tail started to twitch in anticipation. He absolutely loved that stew. However, he had to get some of the sweat from the training off before he arrived. Can't walk into other folks' rooms smelling like pa'li now, could he?

"Just go on before me. I'll go get cleaned somewhat," Norm said before veering off towards a branch containing lots of those plants that filled themselves with water. Jake just nodded and continued on.

Some five minutes and a rough wash with water later, Norm climbed up the last stretch to Jake and Neytiri's alcove. Inside it was nicely, yet practically, decorated, with a semi-large hammock in one corner, a large piece of carved wood in the middle that worked as both a chair and a table, and of course, the p'ah s'ivil cheys, the racks containing Jake and Neytiri's personal belongings.

"Hey Norm. How was training today?" Neytiri asked as Norm entered the alcove. For some reason, Neytiri seemed to like that Norm hadn't advanced as rapidly in his training as Jake had done. He didn't know why, but he suspected that she took some pride in that her mate was such a quick learner.

"Horrible, as usual. Is that yerik-stew?" Norm asked, pointing at the stew cooking over the small fire in one corner. Of course his nose told him it was indeed yerik-stew, but he asked anyway. Of course, Neytiri picked up on the not-so-subtle "Can I have some?" that was hidden in that question.

"Yes it is. Want some?" she asked and laughed as Norm's face lit up in a hungry grin.

The next hour was spent eating the stew and talking between the three of them. The evenings after Jake had helped train Norm usually ended that way, right before Norm would go further up the tree to let his Avatar rest in his hammock, which hung from the branches further up.

Right now, however, he had found several small ball-shaped fruits out in the forest and had brought them back. Jake was carving on a small piece of wood, with Neytiri instructing him, and Norm had lost himself in an attempt to stack the fruits on top of each other, using the hammock as a base. After yet another failed try, Neytiri suddenly turned to face him. "It's not going to happen on a hammock that unstable," she said, gesturing towards the fruits that were was lying in a heap.

"That's what she said!" Jake suddenly quipped. Then his eyes widened and ears twitched as he realized what he had just said. He looked up from the carving he had been working on to look at Norm, who sat just as wide-eyed beside the hammock. Then they both burst out laughing. Within moments, they had degenerated into a mass on the floor, both laughing till they gasped for breath.

"Hell yeah!" Norm gasped, and both males high-fived each other as they fought to regain their composure. Poor Neytiri, however, had no idea what was going on.

"Why were you laughing?" she asked, tail twitching a bit as she realized that it was probably a joke aimed at her.

"Uhhh…." Both males said in unison, laughter forgotten. Both looked at each other, neither wanting to be the one who explained that particular joke to her. Norm smirked. He had an escape route. Jake didn't.

"I think I have to go now. I'm getting tired, and there was some stuff I had to do back in Hell's Gate," he said as he got up to leave. "Night folks!" he said, before quickly getting out and up, leaving Jake there to explain to Neytiri exactly how that joke worked.

"Norm, I'm gonna pay you back for this one…" Jake thought as he launched into the explanation, ears flattened against his head in anticipation of Neytiri's not-so-pleasant reaction.


End file.
